Thursday, July 20, 2006

How to tell if you're a drug runner

Question: what lameass joke have I heard upteen times since getting home for my summer vacation from my life vacation in Colombia. Yup, that's right. So...are you a drug runner? So...did you have to go through any kind of special training to be a mule? So...blah blah blah...drugs. I'm pretty sick of it. Next time someone pulls one of these conversation killers out of their, um, hat, I'm going to respond like this. I don't care if I come off as humorless and defensive. Maybe I am, but I'm in good (well, good-looking anyway) company.

Setting: party at some hipster's house in Capitol View. It's Friday night, but not late enough yet to blame social blunders on the booze.

Them: (sidling up) So you're just back from Colombia, huh? So...making some extra money as a mule, I bet.

Me: (backing away) So...are you an addict or just an idiot? Because as pervasive as the drug production trade is in Colombia, drug use is way more pervasive here, in the good old US of A. It's just as likely that you are on drugs right now than that any given Colombian or traveler to Colombia is a drug smuggler.

I mean, I thought Maria Full of Grace was well-acted too, but come on! Let's not forget it was a movie, a movie about what the film industry thinks people are willing to believe and watch. Not that it was inaccurate, just that it's not the whole truth. I know way more drug dealers and users in the states than in Colombia.

So please, the next time you're short on small talk at a party, lay off the rash over-generalizations about the weakness of other countries in the world. If other nationalities were as bad about this as Americans seem to be, no one living abroad would ever go to a cocktail party.

It would be just too painful, with our government intent on feeding the fire.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

How crass. And it feeds into two stereotypes, doesn't it? One, the "Colombians are criminals" stereotype that infuriates them all, and two, "Americans are stereotyping idiots who can't have a deep conversation" which infuriates the rest of the world. And yes, I had the same questions when I would go down there, so it's not just hipsters in Capital View (where once people would stereotype people living there as users of drugs...).

Si no vamos a hablar antes ya vas regressar a la cuidad Bogota espero que tu vas a tener un tiempo muy divertido y rico. No tengo la cualquiera de los noticias del Kosovo. Por supuesto voy a decir si voy a conocer.

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